Priceless Letter to Duncan

Solomon, a very special young man in Fort Portal, sent Duncan a letter (through Carol, through another family who was in Fort Portal who mailed it to us when they got back to the US).  We just received it today.  It is a priceless treasure, and is written on behalf of the entire extended family.  Solomon was the oldest of the grandchildren and would've been the head of the household when their grandmother passed away.  Carol made sure that there would be one less child-headed household, though.  She got him in to a very good boarding school and is in the top 5% of his class!  He is an amazing 17 yr old.  Since we were in Fort Portal in May, he was home on school break so we had the honor of meeting him.  His love and deep concern for Baguma (who he had not seen for a couple years) was evident.  If that alone was the reason we were delayed (we really thought we'd be there in April!), then it was soooo worth it.  I pray we can see him again when we go back.

I am posting this letter so that you can have a little taste of what the other side of adoption entails in many cases--many people with care and concern for the child that they had to say goodbye to.  People who will always remember the child and wonder how they are, hope they are safe and well-cared for. . . It is a misnomer to think that every orphan must have been unwanted. . . discarded. . . unloved. . .

We are extremely blessed to have Carol as a "middle man" to make it possible for them to see updates on Duncan Baguma, and for us to hear updates on them, etc.  It is an amazing thing that we will have things like this to show Duncan.


Dear Baguma,


How are you doing?  We hope this letter finds you okay.  We are happy that you found a new family there and pray that God may lead you in everything you do and protect you always with your family.


We take pleasure to encourage you to know that we also love you so much and that your new family cares and loves you too.


We have not managed to send you photos of our family but hope the next time we write they will be attached to the letter.  We shall often think about you and pray that life goes with you well there.


I remain Birungi Solomon, on behalf of the family.  Bye.

Friends, First Lights

He misses them every day.  

He asks almost daily to watch the video I made of all his friends.

I always like watching his face when he watches the video.  I can't imagine what is going through his mind.  

Lately it's apparent he assumes some of them will be here eventually, because life just wouldn't quite make sense if he never saw any of them again.

Imagine your own child joining a new family somewhere far away and being forever separated from everyone they loved and who loved them.  No matter how much they were loved and provided for there would be a piece of them that would never quite be. . . complete. . . settled. . . 

Even though he doesn't know about our plans, he says things like, "When J here, she get shots, I tell her don't cry," or "M like to tickle Daddy too."

Since he's been here he's said things like that, and done things such as setting a couple potato chips aside and saying "Dis for Bernadi," or "Babachu like dis."  (Babachu would like this, too)

I think in his little mind it's as though being forever separated from what once was (or who, rather) would not make sense.  And them being here sometime does make sense.

Little sweetie pie.

I know that his 2 friends becoming his sisters is not the ticket to wholeness.  There is so much more.  And ultimately, it's something only God can do.

But, we are anxious for the day when more can join our family!!

On a not-so-somber note, Duncan is enamored with Christmas lights and has told Rick almost daily, "You put lights on my 'ouse Dad!"

Who could resist that--a 4 yr old experiencing all this for the first time.  So, I took him to WalMart, and we found blinking stars.  2 strands at $10 each was enough, and as soon as I put them up he oohed and ahhhed.

Then he immediately told me we need more stars. :)

There's a gift idea, Grandma Pam! :)

Here's a video of Duncan calling Grandma to come see his star lights.  You can see how quickly his English is coming along.  He's been talking in sentences like this for months now--it's nothing new!  He is even more fluent in person--when he's on the phone he's thinking too hard I think. :)

Notice the glitter on his head--proof of a successful trip to the Christmas section at WalMart. :)

Translation at about 30 sec in--he says "I did not want ask Fallyn's pig--I willn't."  

He is saying he will not tell Fallyn about her pig.  He found a tiny glass pig at Pier 1 for her gift.

And at about 1:25 he is trying to tell Grandma about the "Christmas snow" ( i.e., snowflake--which he just learned that word during our WalMart run) lights.  He got to push the button on the snowflake lights and watch them blink in the box.

Christmas things are super fun this year. . . it's so fun to watch his excitement and wonderment.

Very Special Ornaments

Felt ornaments made by my friend at Plum Shopp.

Brown Santa for Duncan made in Africa (Kenya).  I found it at a craft show I set up at, and it's the first ornament I bought for my new son.  It's from an organization helping women.

Each child in our family has a monogram ornament.  I was so happy to go buy a D, and I couldn't resist picking up the M & J for our 2 future daughters.  

Wool felt Kyrgyz ornaments.  Kyrgyzstan will always have a piece of our hearts.

I would like to find an ornament to honor our children's Ugandan relatives.  Anyone have suggestions?

The next pic is our Ugandan-made star ornaments (2 boys, 3 girls, Mom and Dad):

 Our tree, decorated by many little hands.

Impromptu tree skirt.  Came from my Grandma's house--never used!  

I looooove it.  I don't know if Rick appreciates my vintage style as much but he goes with it. :)

I will someday try to sew it into a proper tree skirt, but for now it's a big rectangular tablecloth. :)

It's Perfect.

This Christmas season has been extra special, having a 4-year-old who is experiencing all this for the first time.  Rick and I melted when he showed us what he made at school.  

He is always BEAMING when he shows us all the contents of his backpack.  Even a blank piece of paper which he saved to show Grandma, and showed our friends Chuck and Sasha. :) 

Here's Duncan's ornament from his little preschool.

*LOVE*

First Tree

This is the first year we have a "real" tree, as opposed to our little 3-foot fake tree we've put out every year.  Our living room is small, Christmas is always at my parents down the street. . . we just skipped that I guess.  And the kids were always happy and excited about our tiny tree. :)

So we got a "real" tree meaning, a bigger one, but it is a real one, too.

I always had a real one growing up, from my Grandpa's tree patch on the farm.

Rick always had a real one, too--sometimes native ones from their own land in Iowa.

We had a fun evening eating and going to pick out a tree.

It is hard to get the littlest dude to smile for the camera!  It's a success if he will look at the camera.

He finally smiled after I bribed him with gum.

This is usually how our pictures look. :)

 Hot chocolate in happy little vintage mugs.

There. That's Better.

I saw the Willow Tree "Brothers" figurine at Hallmark the other day and loved it.  

But of course, the little brother is much too pale!

I found one on ebay for much cheaper and painted it with acrylic paints (just those little bottles of craft paint you can find everywhere).

Calvin is a very good big brother.  

I love seeing their special relationship. 

Rick snapped these pics last Saturday morning when Calvin had some computer time (and I was still in bed!)

 

Mass Destruction

While all the cousins were at Grandma Pam's and Grandpa Vail's, the boys spent soooo much time setting up a huge tub's worth of army men all around Grandma's first floor.  Every little shelf, table, etc. had army men and they worked a long time on it.

Total destruction.  Mass casualties.  Two sneaky little girls tiptoed around the house wiping out all the army men while the boys were outside.  It was quite comical--their whispering, tiptoeing, snickering, expressions. . . 

They left no survivors and set up the victors instead all around the house. . . 

the California Raisins!

VICTORY IS OURS!!!

(don't they look like they're rubbing it in a bit?)

The boys were comically mad, of course.  

Who, us???  We've just been inside playing doctor this whole time!

November

My brother's kids were all here in early November while their parents were at a conference.

Vivian stayed one night at our house with Fallyn, and they both slept in Fallyn's toddler bed all night!

Fallyn is 5 1/2 but still fits in it.  Viv is almost 7 but is as tall as most 9 yr olds!  It was funny.

The extent of my Thanksgiving decorations.  

Look!  2 parent pumpkins (the smaller ones) and 5 baby pumpkins! :)

We drove to Rick's brother's at Lake of the Ozarks for Thanksgiving.  

The view from the back porch:

Uncle Justin wrestling 4 kids.  With a bear shoved up his pant leg, too, haha.  

Every kid needs an uncle like Justin!

Grandpa Neill reading a bedtime book to the grandkids.

Fallyn holding Emily, the youngest cousin.

*Some* of the Neills partake in smoked oysters.  Duncan gobbled them up!  That makes one more member of the oyster squad.  Eeew.

Hand-Stamped Jewelry! Initials, Africa, and More!

My sweet and talented friend is donating $10 of every necklace sold to our adoption through DECEMBER 28.  (If you buy today or in the morning, she can ship it TOMORROW AFTERNOON) 

Check out her beautiful designs, including one we worked on together--a copper ring with a Uganda bead in the middle.  Soooo beautiful!  I just love the contrast of the chain, the copper, the bead. . .

There are copper Africa necklaces, sweet necklaces for little girls, sterling silver necklaces. . . She can talk with you about a custom saying or custom initials, too!

Here's her Etsy shop.  Indicate at checkout that it's for the NEILL FAMILY, as she is helping more than just our family's fundraising!

Be a Piece of the Puzzle {Puzzle Fundraiser}

My sweet friend Amanda is heading up a puzzle fundraiser to help us bring the girls home!  I just have to brag on her for a sec--she has been the biggest encourager, cheerleader, supporter, pray-er, helper for my craft shows. . . she has a huge heart for adoption and orphans and has walked this journey with me for YEARS.  She's the best.  She even came to the airport in the middle of the day to see us OFF to Uganda.  Just one small example of the huge blessing she is.  And now she wants to bless us again by heading up a fundraising effort.  Read her letter below!

Dear Friends,

Something incredible is underway—and I can’t wait to tell you about it! Have you ever watched a movie with a storyline that is so amazing, that you can’t possibly anticipate the conclusion? You know, one of those plots with twists so unexpected that they aren’t even in your mental queue of foreseeable outcomes? When those films are over, you just kind of sit there and think about how brilliant it was, and how you will never forget it. Can you imagine what it would be like to be part of the production of an Oscar-winning film—one that goes down as one of the classics?

Right now, there is a great story underway. It spans 4 years, 3 countries, 2 willing parents, and the lives of three precious souls on the ride of a lifetime. Even Charlton Heston would want in on this one!  : )  It’s occurring half-way across the world, and yet just across town—and it’s happening in the lives of our dear friends, the Neills. And let me tell you, it has been a thrill to watch this story in progress! Stepping out in faith over four years ago, Rick and Kendra sought to grow their family through the miracle of adoption, and after the kinds of twists and turns I mentioned above, their Ugandan-born son, Duncan, became part of their family this past May. Duncan is a blessing to everyone who meets him—such a miracle! What no one knew was that the director of the story was not yet finished with this masterpiece. I can see joy on the face of the director as He wrote this script. Oh yes, the director of this story is also the author—and He was busy orchestrating every detail. Read on: you just won’t believe it!!!

While in Uganda to bring Duncan home to their family, Rick and Kendra had the joy of meeting Duncan’s two best friends:  four year-old girls, J and M.  To say that these three are best friends is like saying that mountains are “big.” Their closeness is something that surpasses the word “friend” and is almost more sacred than “family.” They were everything to each other. Imagine the joy that Duncan had in gaining the permanent love and security of a family, and yet the deep sadness he must have known in saying goodbye to his precious friends—friends who are not tucked into bed each night by a mommy and daddy. I learned something this week that made me shed tears. Every day, in a language he has known for only 7 months, this sweet boy bows his head, buries his face in his hands, and prays for his two friends by name. What made me shed tears is not just the fact that he misses and even longs for his friends, but the fact that I know something incredible that Duncan doesn’t know yet. Wait for it, friends. . . .his mommy and daddy are headed back to Uganda to make sweet J and sweet M his SISTERS!!! Truly, legally, in time and space, forever and ever his sisters! The Director, the Author, the King of this universe has heard Duncan’s prayers. And even better, He knew all along how this story would happen!  I know, it is so exciting! And there’s more. . . .

This story is currently having an open casting call! And here’s what I love—everyone who wants a part can have one! Maybe you have already played your part, or maybe it’s yet to come, but all the parts are equally important. Right now, there is a need to raise additional funds to cover the significant cost of physically bringing the girls home—this includes airfare to and from Uganda for Rick, Kendra, J and M. It includes time in country for food, lodging, travel, tips, and numerous miscellaneous expenses. There is not much time left to raise this money, as the Neills anticipate traveling to Uganda in January. We are working on something to symbolize the importance of each person’s role—and to hopefully raise some funds at the same time. We are going to be having a PUZZLE FUNDRAISER.!!! It is our hope to find people to “sponsor” pieces of this puzzle. I’m sure you can see the symbolism here—many adults working together to escort two precious little ones home.

Each piece of the puzzle represents a $10 donation. For every piece that is sponsored, we will stamp a heart on the back of that piece. When you sponsor a puzzle piece, your name will be included on a list that will become a permanent part of the back of the puzzle when it is fully assembled. *  In the future, we think this will be a sweet thing for the girls to look at and see how many people worked together to bring them home. Any amount that you are able to contribute is significant. Just like a puzzle, it takes many small pieces. . . . . although we’re not opposed to anyone who wants to donate a “big piece” either! : )  

Maybe you could sponsor a piece in honor of a loved one as a Christmas gift, or perhaps even your children might like to be involved! I believe that if you are reading this, there is a part in this script written just for you! Maybe your role is to pray, or to watch this story and be encouraged by seeing God’s love in action, or maybe it is to provide financial support by sponsoring a piece, or pieces, of this puzzle. But when the credits roll, we won’t care who had the leading roles or who was assistant #5 to camera man 3. . . we will just be thrilled to have been a part of the story.  I promise you won’t regret accepting a part—and I have a feeling this one is going to be a classic!

To sponsor a puzzle piece:

• Paypal:  Send your donation to paypal account rick.neill@gmail.com.  (If you indicate it is a "gift", the standard paypal fee will not be deducted).  Or just click the ChipIn button on the right sidebar.
• Check:  Send a personal check to the Neills.  151 N Bleckley Dr/Wichita KS/67208.
• Tax-deductible option:  Make a check out to Reclaim Orphans, with "Adoption Fund" in the memo line.  Do not put the Neills name anywhere on the check or this will make it non-tax-deductible.  Simply include a separate note that it is for the Neill family fund.  Email Kendra (kendraneill@gmail.com) for the mailing address to send the check to (it is the founders' private residence address so it is not being listed here).  Reclaim Orphans is a registered non-profit that is helping the Neills by serving as a vehicle for tax-deductible donations, and you can rest assured that your donation will be used for their adoption expenses.

So let’s get this started!  I can’t wait to be part of blessing the socks off the Neill family this holiday season, and I’m already looking forward to seeing Duncan, J, and M reunited for the first time on American soil—hopefully in the next few months!  Thank you for caring about God's heart for the orphan, and for being His hands and feet to these two precious girls. 

 In Him,

Amanda Karber

*Those who have already made a monetary donation towards the adoptions of  J and M will automatically be included in the list on the back of the puzzle, as will those who purchased a fund-raising item such as beads, hair bows, or t-shirts and gave a dollar amount exceeding the value of the merchandise purchased.  (for instance, someone who purchased a $25 shirt but wrote a check for $50).

The Beauty of Adoption. . .

. . . expressed so wonderfully by this young artistic couple who adopted an older child from Uganda.   Enjoy.  Here is how they came to adopt this sweet girl.  I don't know them personally, but I admire them so much--they were young, not parents yet, she was an "older child", they didn't have the means to fund the adoption costs themselves. . .  so many reasons they could have said adoption wasn't "for" them and let this girl remain an orphan, but they were willing to stand in the gap for the girl they had sponsored when she experienced great loss.  God creates beautiful, unique families, AMEN?!


the lovely plain. from andrew+carissa on Vimeo.

He Knew

I am amazed when I look back at photos from our time at the orphanage.  GOD KNEW.

He allowed us to have amazing moments captured on camera that would become even more special to us.

I knew from the very beginning of our adoption process (2007) that one of the hardest moments for me would be saying good-bye to the ones left behind.  It was even harder than I thought.

We LOVED those kids. . . and as we took one of their best friends, our hearts broke for them.

We ripped a little family apart.   We would pray forever that they would somehow have families, too, someday. . . and hopefully near enough to us in the states that our kids could remain easily connected for life.

We hurt for their loss of their friend/brother (although you just can't describe their relationships!), and we hurt for our new son's loss.  Yes he'd have a forever-family now, but that comes with a lot of loss for him and others and that was/is heartbreaking.

Remember we had no. idea. we'd be back to adopt them!  We were praying desperately that someone else would be able to!

Our first family picture with our new boy!  Plus one extra. . . They're just inseparable! 

I wish you could see her face. . . her eyes are squeezed shut giving him the tightest hug!

Guess who followed us out the gate. . .

Pearl (gray dress) came down to the gate as we left, too, but since she's shy she hung back.

We don't have as many pictures of Pearl since she's so shy.  She was content to hang out with Jonathan (a volunteer there for a year!), so in many of our photos, she's in the background with him and is watching all her friends playing with us.  I love those pictures of Pearl with Jonathan.  Their relationship looks as natural as a father/daughter.  Indescribably thankful for people like him who spent time just loving these kids.  I'm so thankful Pearl, especially--as quiet and shy as she is--had someone like him she could be completely at ease with and have many of her needs met.  We were concerned when we found out that Jonathan and Selina (both 20 yr old college students spending a year at the orphanage) were leaving in September, and the most concerned for Pearl.  The kids were SO bonded with them.  Another huge loss in their lives, and we pray that more volunteers will be able to love on the kids the way they did.  If more volunteers came that were even half as wonderful as Jonathan and Selina, the kids would be incredibly blessed!!!

Crazy to think that at the time of the pics below, I was playing with and snuggling our future DAUGHTER.  Amazing.

Silly, silly girl.  

SO much going on in that tiny 3 yr old mind and body!  She is the biggest crack-up ever.  

I know we will have our hands full, but our hearts will be even fuller with all the life wrapped up in this little person!!!

I look back at all our pics that include Pearl and Spunky and am just left speechless and in awe of God's mysterious ways!

It is obvious HE KNEW.  I truly believe a lot of our moments captured on camera were not just happenstance. . . it's hard to put in words but I think you get the idea.  We had no idea, but HE DID.

(Just like when I look at Dawn's photos from her trips to the orphanage long before we knew about Duncan. . . there is more to Duncan just being "there" in the pics that were mostly of Isaac . . . there is something more to it. . . something unfolding. . . he is "there" in the pictures in a way other kids are not. . . amazing.)

A Year Ago, and 7 Months Ago

About a year ago. . . On December 11, 2010 we found out about a waiting child with an agency who did not have a family match.  We learned of him on Facebook from a friend who had copied and pasted a waiting child listing she had seen!

I inquired to the agency contact person that day.  On December 12, we saw this picture in our email.  

I gasped.  He literally took my breath away.  

And then my immediate thought was, "He looks like Rick's son."

 

A few days later on December 14, we turned in our official "yes"!

Some amazing things happened quickly that allowed us to be matched with him.

Then we traveled in May to bring him home!

7 months ago we met him (May 6), took him out of the orphanage (May 7), and on MOTHER'S DAY (May 8), I received the best Mother's Day gift ever. . . Duncan Baguma called us Mommy and Daddy.  And, THANK YOU LORD, we had the camera rolling and got it on VIDEO!

WATCH IT HERE

Now, 3 inches taller and counting. . . our tiny little peanut of a 3-yr-old is 4 years old.  

Still on the small side for a 4-yr-old, but I can't believe how TINY he was just a few months ago!  

Not only has he grown so much physically, he seems to have aged so much.  

You know how "they" say to expect 1 month delay for every 3 months a child is in an orphanage.  I think the reverse must be about right on, too. . . expect about 3 months gain for every 1 month in a family.  He seems to have "aged" a year in just 7 months--in his mannerisms, how he plays, etc.

 He is such a joy.  

Sweet, snuggly, goofy.

(And of course, he has his typical toddler moments of being stubborn and grumpy!)

(from October)

Hard to believe that we're about to add 2 more to our flock!  

Never in our wildest dreams. . .  after all that waiting (since 2007), we never could have imagined that God would have 3 older toddlers for us in less than a year!

We could be travelling in a matter of weeks.  We still need to raise funds for all the travel expenses. 

(Praise God, we have enough for attorney fees and plane tickets!!!  He is good!!!)

If you want to partner with us to bring these 2 sweeties

We have a ChipIn feature on the left (uses paypal and is secure), and there is a tax-deductible donation option and that information can be found here.