Baby Stuff

I've gotten so many questions about what we need for the next addition to our family. I had given away everything awhile ago, because we never thought we'd be back at a newborn phase (because of Kyrgyzstan, then Ethiopia was next on our hearts), and if we ever were, it'd be SEVERAL years from now and I was not going to store a ton of baby items for 8 years. I don't mean having another newborn biologically in several years--we are done with that, but that's another topic for another post.

Little did we know... Anyway, here's the lowdown.

Baby items we DON'T need, thanks to generous friends who are letting us borrow or have the following items:

*Bassinet

*Swing

*Car seat and bases

*Papasan

*Diapers...we'll be stocked for awhile at least, thanks to my mom, who can still get diapers from the hospital she worked at until a couple months ago, where they offered diapers to employees at cost....you don't want to know how cheap a giant case of over 240 Pampers Swaddlers is. You'd cry.

*Boppy

*Breastmilk.

Yes, you read that right--breastmilk. A very close friend is going to pump and freeze some milk for our baby! Amazing, huh? Any of you who have experience with pumping know that that is PURE. LOVE. How neat that our baby can have optimal nutrition to start out. I'm hoping to add to the stock of breastmilk, which is AWKWARD to announce publicly...but that'll be another post. Even though it's awkward to talk about, I'm glad to write about the various aspects of adoption, so eh, why not let the world know? :)

I've been given some extra Lansinoh milk storage bags...if anyone has some leftovers (any brand), we'll take 'em!

We already have a Pack-n-play, a stroller that the infant seat can fit on, a bag we can use for a diaper bag, bouncy seat, booster chair (we'll use instead of setting up a big high chair) with a tray, and a small crib. We also have an old BebePod, but not the kind that can have a tray or has straps. That would be really nice, but not a necessity.

Still Will Need:

Baby carrier: I have a pink wrap I made, so if it's a boy I'll make a new wrap :) Still keeping an eye out for a quicker on-off carrier like a sling or Ergo. Does anyone have any experience with the Bjorn AND the Ergo? The Bjorn kinda kills my shoulders, even though it has lots of support and the lumbar support thing. I've heard the Ergo is better. ????? Rick is willing to wear a strappy carrier like the Bjorn or Ergo, I dunno about a sling :)

Exersaucer (not as immediate of need)

Bottles: Love the idea of Playtex drop-ins. We do have 2 friends/family who have some bottles they said we can use...so we're probably good on the bottles. If anyone has leftover liners, please let me know! ***A friend just let me know she has a LOT of 4-oz liners we can have! Thanks so much, K!***

Formula! Lots and lots of formula.

Let me know if I'm missing something terribly important, folks!

Oh yes, and also, lots of $$$ for adoption fees! :) "Don't sweat the small stuff," right? But what about the big stuff? Thankfully, we have a mighty God who provides for His precious ones to be placed in families, and thousands of dollars is "small stuff" to Him!

Heartache in Africa

The children and people of Africa are on my heart today... please read and pray and give!

Read this blog. They have come across a "children's prison"... heartbreaking. Read and do what can--pray, give, tell others...

Here's a gut-wrenching, heart-aching news story today from Human Rights Watch. There are no words... Pray for all, especially the children who have suffered and are still suffering unfathomable horrors. God have mercy!

"The Makombo massacre is one of the worst ever committed by the LRA in its bloody 23-year history, yet it has gone unreported for months," said Anneke Van Woudenberg, senior Africa researcher at Human Rights Watch. "The four-day rampage demonstrates that the LRA remains a serious threat to civilians and is not a spent force, as the Ugandan and Congolese governments claim."

BBC Article on the same issue.

Tulsa Day 1

We're on our first family vacation!

We needed a destination within a reasonable driving distance, and we've never been to Tulsa, so Tulsa it was. We've wanted for several months to take the kids on a trip with just the 4 of us. Literally every time we've been out of town with the kids has been to family stuff, which we LOVE, but we wanted to do something with just us while the kids are at this lovely stage (same nap schedules, no strollers/diaper bag/etc. in tow!). We had April in mind for several months, which turned out to be perfect timing with a new little one coming very soon!

The kids are fascinated with the hotel since they've never been in one before. It was so fun to see their reaction! Calvin: "MOM! I opened the MIRRORS and there's an IRON and HANGERS!" "Here's those things to blow your nose!" Definitely picked a hotel with a pool! We're keeping it simple--swimming, relaxing, and a little bit of running around.

Here's a few pics from the 3-hr drive and in the hotel. [Want some fun kids' music? Here's the album we listen to a lot when we're in the car. There are 1 or 2 we skip, but overall, so fun! We especially love the Underdog theme song, Mechanical Man (FUN robot song!) and the educational Dinosaur Song which our kids call "Wrong Head"...if you don't know why, you should listen to the song! Rick and I learned something new!]

Fallyn's Guitar Face:

Rockin' out. . . "Three little bugs little bugs little bugs. . .!!! "

The world as Fallyn sees it.

Chillin' before dinner, which was YUMMY Caribbean/Jamaican at Hibiscus restaurant. Careful clicking, you might drool on your computer if you look at the menu!

Fallyn and I did "princess hair" while the boys played their game. How nice to have nothing to do except stand in the bathroom doing hair!

Wow, this is so much easier than scrapbooking our trip! Love the modern world of blogs!

Must be close to bedtime...Fallyn is shushing everyone because Buddy Bear (Calvin's bear/my old bear) is asleep under her jacket and the Battleship box lid. Ah, life with a 3 and 5-year-old--always something to laugh at!

A Special Pablo Candy-Finger Card

Miss A, I know you'll see this...here's your custom Pablo card of you and your two little fellas! :)

Some more recent cards. He LOVES being able to draw stars now! Still drawing those underwear aliens, too... :)

Garage Sale Fundraiser!

Hey Wichitans, we're having another sale this year for an adoption fundraiser. Won't be the ginormous production like 2 years ago (read here), but we're excited to see what God provides through another fundraiser sale.

If any of you have stuff to get rid of that would've gone to the thrift store and would want to put it in our garage sale instead, it'd be VERY appreciated! We'll take anything except old computer monitors. :)

The sale will be Thursday through Saturday, April 29 - May 1, so you still have plenty of time to spring clean if you haven't already! If anyone wants to help price stuff the weekend before, or on Wednesday, April 28, I'm sure there will be plenty to do!

Thanks everyone!!!

On The Agenda This Week

Little trip today to the Offender Registration Unit to get fingerprinted and get the KBI/FBI requests for background checks sent off. I told Fallyn we were going to this office so we can adopt, and she thought we were adopting there and walking out with a new baby. My bad :( If only!!! ($50 each for checks, $20 each for fingerprints = $140)

Mailed requests for local/state child abuse and neglect searches. ($10 each = $20)

This weekend while we're on our little trip I hope Rick and I can get started on reading 2 more required books and writing the synopses. ($0! We have those books already, yay!)

Rick finished the required transracial adoption DVDs last night. ($5 to mail back to our home study agency)

Rick will finish his couple of short-answer essay q's tonight for the domestic home study, then we're done on our end with home study stuff, except the health checks and home visit. I think.

Next week will be filled with more paperwork because North Carolina's requirements, and we have our doctor check-ups on Friday. After our check-ups we can send everything in for our home study, and then we'll be waiting on our home visit and for them to write everything up. Then we send the completed/revised home study to our adoption agency and WAIT! (and rush around like crazy trying to get things ready, garage sale fundraiser, and other things...)

Upcoming fees:

$600 to home study agency

$600 to adoption agency

$0 health checks! LOVE having no copay with our insurance! Plus our dr. is great about giving out formula sample cans when he has them, so...bonus!!! Have a couple cans from my dr. visit last week to start off the stash. I will probably explain the nature of that visit later :) Nobody panic, I'm not pregnant. Not possible anymore... might explain that later, too.

We're In!

Got a call today saying that we're accepted to the agency we applied to!

There is still just a handful of families, so like we initially thought, this could go VERY quickly!

We're ready to be done with all the paperwork and runaround ASAP and just be waiting, but there are time-frames and processes that are out of our control so we can only go so fast.

There are some extras with paperwork and training we have to do because our agency is in North Carolina, but at least those things won't cause a delay, just extra things on our to-do list. The main thing that will draw out the time-frame longer is waiting on the home study agency to compile and write up everything and issue our new home study, which takes weeks. Then once the NC agency receives our home study, we are eligible to be chosen by a birthmom.

My Mom's FB Status

Rick and I had to leave town for a night so the kids stayed with Grandma and Grandpa, watching the March Madness games... Here's my mom's FB status from last night:

Basketball score differences = math calculations for a 5 year, 1 month old boy named Calvin. Every so often he would call out the score and state the difference, up to a maximal difference of 14. Just as we thought when he was very little....he's got "the knack".

Perhaps he'll be an engineer like Daddy, who's really good at math. Or--Uncle Austin is really good at math, too. He's a florist now. Just kidding--he OWNS a floral business, big difference. So he says. :) :) :)

We can't take credit for being genius parents (well, Rick can), he's just always figured these things out on his own for the most part. I've put this on our blog a couple times, but if you're new here, here's "The Knack":

Giveaway Winner!

The Eggland's Best giveaway winner is...

That Fresh Feeling said...

We are having eggs for dinner tonight...Yum! great giveaway

Email me at kendra neill @ gmail . com to claim your free egg coupons and an EB plushie!

We Heart Eggland's Best! {Giveaway!}

If you and I have ever talked grocery shopping and such in person, you've probably heard my Eggland's Best spiel!

There are few products out there that I'm willing to tell people they should buy that actually cost a bit more than the other options, since I'm so frugal with our grocery budget and would never tell anyone else they should actually think about spending more on a staple like eggs. Because eggs are eggs, right? WRONG :)

I didn't know about Eggland's Best until about 2 years ago when I saw a coupon for the eggs. So naturally, being the penny-pincher I am, I only bought them because with the coupon and the store sale, they ended up being cheaper than the regular eggs.

But once I bought that first dozen, I never went back. These eggs are seriously amazing, people! Considering the health benefits vs the cost, they are really reasonably priced. I usually have coupons that make them cheaper, but even if I don't have a coupon, I am willing to shell out the extra for them because I really think they are worth it!

Consider the following:

Eggland's Best eggs have...

*10x more Vitamin E than regular eggs.

*4x more Vitamin D.

*115 mg of Omega 3. Regular eggs only have 37mg!

*25% less saturated fat.

*75% more Vitamin B12.

*over 50% more Vitamin A.

*15% more Riboflavin (Vitamin B2)

*Only 175mg cholesterol vs 215mg of an ordinary egg.

*200 mcg Lutein vs the standard 135 mcg.

*40% of the daily value of iodine, vs the 15% found in other eggs.

You can read more about Eggland's Best on their website. My friends' first question usually is how it can be so much better...in short--really high-quality feed for the chickens.

Because of our frugal grocery budget, we eat a lot of other (cheaper) protein sources such as beans, nuts, yogurt, and of course, lots of eggs. So I am really excited that there is such a thing as a much more healthy egg out there.

Not only are they so good for you health-wise, they are GOOD! The quality and taste are exceptional!

My own disclaimer: I am not being compensated for raving about EB eggs. I wanted to tell you all about them completely at my own accord on my blog, because I already rave about them in person to anyone I can :)

Here's the fun part! Eggland's Best has provided a few coupons for free eggs and a cute little plush EB egg to be sent to the winner of my giveaway!

All you have to do to enter is leave a comment! For an additional entry(s), link to the giveaway on FB or your blog. Leave an additional comment for each entry you do. I will announce the winner on Friday, then you will have to email me and I'll tell you how to claim your prize. So if you're not subscribed, go ahead and do so, so you don't miss the announcement!

Documentary on Trans-racial Adoption

On the agenda this weekend:

Watch the 3 required (by our home study agency) videos on trans-racial adoption.

Watched the first one as a little date night last night. It was so good. It's called Outside Looking In: Trans-racial Adoption in America. There was so many aspects we liked about it, one of which was the birthmom they highlighted in the film. It gives you a good picture of what many of these birthmoms are like--their strength, courage, and love. Really moving.

Adding it to the list of documentaries/movies on our adoption blog.

The other videos on trans-racial adoption we have to watch are Visible Differences: Trans-racial Parenting Through Adoption and Struggle for Identity: Issues in Trans-racial Adoption.

If anyone has any recommended books or videos on adoption, orphans, trans-racial adoption, etc. in addition to the ones I have listed on our adoption blog, please let me know! We're always looking for more!

Making Progress (and Thoughts on the Cost of Adoption)

I've logged in dozens of hours this week. Getting home study stuff in order. Has to be changed from international home study to domestic. More fingerprints, YAY!

Some of the things we have to do to get the home study switched from international to domestic:

Attend the domestic adoption workshop. 3 hours long (the international one is all day). Our home study agency is 3 hours away. Thank goodness my little brother lives there and we can stay over (I think...Austin, you reading?), as the workshop is in the evening.

New background checks, fingerprints, and medical checks. Ours are still good, but one of the differences between the int'l vs domestic is that the domestic h.s.'s "issue date" goes by the earliest time-sensitive document (those with dates stamped on them). So for example, we need to schedule our physicals for the day we're going to mail everything back to the h.s. agency.

Another home visit.

A couple new questions to answer on the autobiography.

Some general info to fill out, like our preferences (age, special needs we're open to, etc.).

Since we're adopting transracially, that adds to the requirements: answering a few essay questions, watching 3 videos, and an online course on transracial adoption issues that I did this week and spent $30 on.

THANK GOODNESS we don't have to submit new employment letters, letter from Calvin's teacher, 3 reference forms, tax returns, W-2, insurance verification... We just did all that last August-September, along with the background and health checks and home visit.

Also this week, I'm 99% done with our family album. It can be digital (like Shutterfly)...AWESOME. I can't imagine having to make a real scrapbook right now. Ugh. The albums are what agencies use to give the birthmom an idea of what the prospective adoptive families are like.

2 unexpected babysitting jobs came up this week that I would've done for free, but the moms insisted... That bit of extra $$$ covered the cost of the albums (have to have 2 b/c the agency has 2 offices) we need! God is providing! :)

Started on the paperwork packet for the agency we're applying to. I'm assuming they'll accept us. We'll send that in Monday after I pick up the printed picture of the 4 of us that they need.

Logged in a couple hours looking up adoption grant organizations.

Costs so far:

Home study switcheroo--$600

Background checks--$50 each

Child abuse checks--$10 each

Agency application fee--$25

Online course--$30

H.S. agency to mail videos--$5

2 Albums--$60

Total: $830 this week/next week.

Cost of a child not remaining fatherless....PRICELESS!

It's easy to think that adoption is SO expensive when you hear that it can cost $15k, $25k, $40k... and it might seem ridiculous, but really, when you think about what people spend that kind of money on.... remodeling a kitchen, buying a new vehicle, a boat...

So think about the return or the long-term value of things, or the impact on a life. . . . . . . NOW WHAT SOUNDS RIDICULOUSLY EXPENSIVE?!?!

Why is it so easy to spend money on things that are so temporal and often unnecessary, but so easy to look at adoption and immediately think about how expensive it is? Some people are just genuinely stunned that it costs so much. I, personally, am genuinely stunned that people spend that much on things that do not last!

I tend to think that adoption costs are quite a bargain, actually!!! Anyone else think so?

Boy or Girl?

I'm getting this question a lot, so before I go back to work on the album, or laundry, I'll answer it for everyone.

With domestic you usually can't specify. We can with our Kyrgyzstan adoption, but we have no preference. So, could be either! We're horrible at waiting for that suprise...we LOVE knowing as soon as possible!

Calvin wants a girl all of a sudden because, "Girl babies are cuter than boy babies!". Fallyn wants a girl, that's a given.

We're a bit partial to a boy, but either would be PERFECT! :)

I don't know what we'll do if it's a girl...we have NO names, really. Might have to go with Calvin's girl name of choice: OliveGarden Pickle Neill. Is that suprising, coming from someone who changed his name to Pablo Candy-Finger?

We do have a boy name we love, though! Sorry to hold you in suspense. :)

Something Sappy or Random Would Be a Good Title Here

I wonder what life will be like with 3. We never thought our youngest would be 3 1/2 by the time we had another one, always kinda planned on them all being closer in age. So sometimes it's an odd feeling to have had just 2 for this long, but it's been such a blessing. I think the Lord knew we needed the benefits of just 2 children for longer.

I've been working on our album/profile book so I've been scrolling through hundreds (thousands?) of old pictures. Just so thankful for all those memories. I'm so thankful that I've been the one to get to be with them for literally thousands of precious moments and memories. I can't imagine not being the one who got to be there for all those and have them burned in my mind and heart.

Being a SAHM is the best job ever, and definitely the hardest. But so worth it!!! I'm thankful for a husband who has mapped out our finances so carefully and has always wanted to live below our means (even before kids), definitely not above, or even at like so much of our society. It's not easy living off one income, but it's SO worth it. Really, though, it's not that hard. The sacrifices don't even seem like sacrifice compared to what we're getting out of it, and most importantly, our children.

Here's a favorite round of pics I dug up from awhile back. Man, I just can't imagine someone else getting to see what I see all day, every day.

disclaimer: I don't mean that the following is what I see all day :) They used to be practically perfect angels with each other. Now they see each other more as equals since they're both older now and the squabbling sometimes seem endless. But they still have plenty of "moments", and are still best friends.

I'll never forget how Fallyn was always in UTTER. HEAVEN. being near her brother. In these pictures she hung on to his neck for a looooong time, and he just let her stay to her heart's content, fumbling with his toy while she clung to him. Have you ever seen such LOVE in a baby's eyes? Only Calvin got that look--she would've traded us for him any day!

We've had an incredible journey with these 2! I know there is always a sort of grieving that comes when things change, a healthy grieving for once was. Like when we added baby #2, that was the end of life with just 1 baby. Now we're adding #3, and it's the end of the era of the 4-of-us. We are SO excited, though! And nervous!

We can't wait to see these 2 as big siblings to a new one. I think they'll do a great job. They are both ready for someone else to be here, you can just tell. They are getting a bit bored sometimes with just each other :) A third child right now will be a big adjustment, I'm sure, but it's a welcome change! There are many times where I think the 2 of them could use a distraction from each other. :) I'm speaking of those moments where they don't want to be apart from one another, but them being together = SQUABBLING!

Now they'll be able to work together to help the new baby and some of the focus will be off of each other. I can't wait to see the new dynamic of 3 kids play out. Hoping I at least have time to catch up on laundry, though, before the next one arrives! The messes have already piled up so much more (b/c they were already there, already way behind) in the last 3 days!

Back to work on that album... I'd like to get as much done as possible before our instructions for changing our home study from international to domestic arrives, which might be today!

Domestic Adoption and the Rain Today

We have decided to take steps in the direction of a domestic adoption (still keeping Kyrgyzstan open), unless we hear a divine "no" as we step out in faith.

It has been raining steadily today, which I just love (when I can be inside!). I wish most of my day had just been calm, quiet, slow... but it has been filled with many phone calls, internet searching, and emails. Adoption is quite the whirlwind! We're no stranger to that, but now it seems like even more of a whirlwind, espcially since we're not going to request a Caucasian baby. Many couples who are open to any ethnicity have had a new baby within just a couple months--we need to be ready for anything to happen! So that is a little (actually a lot) crazy to think about, plus, we were pretty sure we'd never have a newborn again because:

1. We made the decision to not have any more biological children because of the great need for adoption, and we feel like adopting the rest of our kids is what we're called to.

2. IF we someday did a domestic adoption, it'd be after Kyrgyzstan, and then Ethiopia was next on our hearts and maybe our family would be full by then and maybe a domestic adoption would not be in our future. Or if it was, it'd be many YEARS from now--and definitely after Rick's PhD schooling. So I gave away all our newborn gear and supplies and clothes several months ago because I wasn't going to hang on to stuff for years and years! Anyone have baby gear they want to loan us for a few months? :)

Rick took the kids to the Y a little while ago so they can play and get lots of energy out after being inside all day. And ignored a lot...I hate to admit that but that's how it was today. I took a quiet moment this evening to sit and listen to the rain. It took awhile before my MIND was quieted, though. I barely even ate anything all day but didn't even realize it till then because I was so physically and mentally consumed! So much to take in, think about, figure out, decide, and plan...and possibly so little time!

The rain reminded me that just as God sends the rain to provide and nourish His creation, he'll send his rain to us, too. He will provide (emotionally, spiritually, and financially) and nourish us as we pursue adopting one of His precious gifts domestically--and as we wait on Kyrgyzstan--just as He has all along.

Then I came across Psalm 131, which has the title, "I Have Calmed and Quieted My Soul". Perfect! Such a good reminder that I just need to calm and quiet my soul and not be consumed with the things that seem so beyond me right now. Just what I needed--thank you God!

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up;
my eyes are not raised too high;
I do not occupy myself with things
too great and too marvelous for me.
But I have calmed and quieted my soul,
like a weaned child with its mother;
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
O Israel, hope in the Lord
from this time forth and forevermore.

We Really Could Use Lots of Prayer!

We have no. idea. at this point what we should do while we wait on Kyrgyzstan. We need very clear direction. Option A seems like a blind leap of faith. Option B seems like a blind leap of faith.

What I mean by that is, there is not enough information coming out of Kyrg to be able to think through the possible scenarios and time-frames, what each option would entail, how it would all play out, etc. etc. Because of the completely unknown time-frame with Kyrg, there are so many possible scenarios.

A God-ordained coin toss would be a nice way to solve our dilemma. :) Anyone have thoughts on casting lots? :)

It's no big secret or anything what we're praying for direction on: Option A means a concurrent domestic adoption starting very soon. Option B means no concurrent adoption, just continuing to wait on Kyrgyzstan. Both are scary. I have started to feel anxious about the decision and the possibilities. Another opportunity to trust, trust, trust!!!

Last September-October-ish we decided that 6 months from then, we'd seriously think about a concurrent adoption if the Kyrgyzstan adoption was still looked like a long way off. That time has come... so this is where we're at. We'd appreciate all the prayer we can get.

Tulsa--Suggestions?

The four of us are going on our first "real" vacation, as in, not just travelling somewhere to stay at our relatives' house for a holiday or weekend full of extended family and all that. Not that those trips aren't lots of fun, but we're really excited to do something with just the 4 of us for the first time! We're really excited for the kids to stay in a hotel for the first time--one with a pool, of course! Wasn't that one of the most exciting things when you were little--staying in a hotel with a pool? It was for us, at least, since both our families didn't do lavish vacations. :)

And since we don't do lavish vacations, either, we had to find a city within a decent driving distance which meant either Kansas City or Tulsa. Since we've never been to Tulsa, that's where we're heading later this month. SO exciting, I know! :)

I got a few good tips from a friend who knows the city well. Does anyone else out there have any tips or suggestions? We already have our hotel chosen. I know the Aquarium there is a huge attraction and would be so cool....but the $50 for the 4 of us to get in is too painful, so we'll skip it for now. We'll go someday when the kids are old enough to appreciate it more. We probably will go to the zoo (half price, yay!).

So, ideas, anyone??? We need as inexpensive of suggestions as possible, and we're not *too* concerned about big outings and attractions since our kids are just 3 1/2 and 5 years old. We figure they'll mostly remember the hotel and pool anyway :)